Brand New Day

We have been through a hell of a week and survived. Lori's older sister had surgery this week and we stayed at the hospital together for 6 days and nights. I was dreading it because I thought Lori would be so demanding and hyper and stress us all out, but she was so much help and such a trooper. Sometimes she does amaze me. She got antsy from time to time, but for the most part she was helpful, supportive and calm (for her). I know prayer works because it could have gone a whole other way. Anyway, all went well and we are home and I am thankful for my angel and that she is who she is.

Special Connection

It is so bazaar. Sometimes all of Lori's weird and irritating habits drive me crazy and I just want a break from having to give her so much attention all of the time, but 5 minutes after we serparate I miss her like crazy. It takes so much energy to give her so much attention at times it is overwhelming. Most people have no idea how hard it is to just get her to focus on one thing, complete 1 activity, stay positive and not get frustrated about something. Being in the hospital with Nicole and having Lori here earlier was so stressful. It is so hard for Lori to share my attention. She wants me all to herself. She really loves Nicole and wants her to get well but she wants me to focus on her too. She is the most loving and kind child in the world and she did really well about not being able to stay and having to leave me here with Nicole. Now that she is gone I miss her terribly. It is really good in a way that no one is reading this stuff because I just need to vent from the frustration and the stress.

Leaving Lori with someone besides me is scary

My oldest daughter is in the hospital after surgery and I had to leave Lori with her Godparents. Even thought they know and love her, I am still very nervous. They have no idea about her quirks and little habits. Her fears and anxieties and what it takes to calm her down. I am so torn between wanting to be her with Nicole at the hospital so she is not alone, and wanting to be with Lorial so she is not afraid. She is so connected to me I know she will be worried about things. I will go and call her once I finish this and then we will both be able to rest.

Getting started

This is such a scary process. I am in the process of having her evaluated to determine what months of research and years of observation have shown me. My child has serious problems focusing on any task for too long. She is easily distracted and becomes agitated quickly when asked to move from task to task. She has problems in social settings because it is very hard for her to engage in normal conversation by following and fitting in appropriately. Sometime it breaks my heart to see how hard she tries to fit in or get in conversations, but she just can't seem to get the rhythm right or something.

We will sit for hours (literally) going over her homework and making sure it is right, only to find out weeks later she never turned it in. I have to go through her backpack each night to be sure there is nothing in there that should have been turned in. Now she is getting ready to start middle school and I am terrified that it will be overwhelming for the both of us.

All through elementary school, I forged a very close relationship with each of her teachers. Now as she she goes to middle school with as many as 4 or so, I wonder if I will be able to maintain the same relationships with all of the, my job and my sanity.

we will soon find out as September 9, is quickly approaching.