The Lesson

I am always telling Lorial and Nicole too that things happen for a reason and that God would not let us experience pain, suffering and heartache without a purpose.  We often do not know what that purpose is, but we have to believe that God is for us and not against us.

Driving into work this morning, stuck in traffic, I had an epiphany.  I sometimes feel that everything is going wrong and God seems to be against me and everything is so hard and I get really down, but today I did not let my mind go there.  I thought back over all the times God has stepped in to save me from certain fatal circumstances and in that instant when I am rescued, I know that I have a greater purpose in life.  But then time passes and the miracle of His intervention wanes and I lose sight and hold of His love for me.  Today I felt His presence in my heart and in my spirit and I knew that when He saved me from drowning, from several horrible potentially fatal car accidents, from carbon monoxide poisoning, from my crazy family, it was all for a reason.  Somehow I know that reason is to love and help my child through her journey with bipolar disorder and to help her become the great person she is meant to be.

We all have a calling and a purpose in life. I thank God that I know now that mine is to love my child with all my heart and all my spirit and to never give up on her because she is amazing and her light is meant to shine on the world and change it for the better. 

Being her mom is the reason I was born.  God is good all the time.

Being her mom sometimes is the hardest thing I can imagine doing, but not being her mom is the worst thing that could possible happen.  In my heart and soul I know that she and I together have a purpose and a reason for being and that all that we have been through and are going through has to serve some purpose that will help others and not just be wasted time on suffering.